God knows who you are more than you do.

Depression is a real serious thing and it's a spiritual thing as well. It can not be treated with natural things, only the word of God.

 For the longest time growing up, i used to be in a really deep depression. I used to get hurt a lot, and I know I'm not the only one that has gone through that. Some of you may still be going through it and that's why I want to tell my testimony. When I was younger I used to get made fun of because I have a gap, I was overweight, I wasn't pretty enough (to them), I wore glasses, didn't always have the best clothes and lastly because I talk fast and I used to stumble over my words.

These things have played a huge part in my life growing up. I was always afraid to stand up in front of the classroom and talk. I was afraid to talk to people face to face because I didn't want them to stare at my teeth and I wore really baggy clothing. And most of you know that being talked about will bring your self-esteem low. I wouldn't even laugh without covering my mouth. It was so bad that I would walk home from school with my head down. And I was always quiet.  I used to use the whole "I'm just shy" thing so people would leave me alone and accept me for who I thought I was. Didn't know that shyness was just another name for fear. The Devil really had me bound. I used to always see myself the way people saw me instead of how God made me. I was going to church and all but i wasn't in the world like i should have been. And that's how i allowed the enemy to attack me.
As I got older, I used to always want a job that was in stocking because I didn't want to deal with people. But the Lord had other plans. Now how many of you know that what the enemy would try to put you down with, the Lord will build you up with? So after applying for various jobs I finally got one in the deli department where I had to deal one on one with customers and make announcements over the intercom. God really used that to break me out of that "trying to hide" thing.  But my God!! Come to think of it, every job or volunteer work I did, I had to deal with people face to face. LOL!! God You are so awesome.

I thank God for getting me out of that bondage. It kept me shy and not wanting to do the things that He called me to do. I hated it so much!! I couldn't be myself. I used to end up making jokes about myself before someone else did or hurt someone else's feelings before they hurt mine. I didn't know what it was at the time what I was doing. I was in a really bad situation and I really needed saving. That was nothing but fear and torment to try and stop me from following the plan that God has for me. I would do my hardest to please people just so they would like me. I hated being the odd one in the bunch. But how many of you know that there is no end to pleasing someone. I had to learn to stop trying to figure out who I was through what people though about me and just listen and receive what God says about me. He knows me more than I know myself. You can't try to please people and God. You have to choose who you will serve. And let me tell you, it is so much easier to please God.

God will open doors for you if you let Him in and heal you. And if the enemy tries to put thoughts of doubt in your mind telling you that you're no good because of this or you're ugly because of that. Tell that little scum bag to shut his ugly face up. Every time the enemy would try to put thoughts of doubt in my mind, I just come back him with the Word of God. Just like Jesus did when He was being tempted. See I didn't really know then when I was going through all of that stuff that I could do that. But now that I know what to do, Satan can't stand a chance!! Once you start to learn who God really is, He will

start to reveal who you really are to yourself. Nobody knows you more than God knows you. So next time you are in worship/prayer time with God, ask Him to show you you and He will.